Pot

I wish there was a way to convince anxious, nervous people how to be in right mindset for smoking pot. I am a very anxious person, but now that i smoke a lot of pot, I come to realizations more often about not becoming paranoid of certain situations that make me nervous.

Tonights little thought was to just be happy with each day.

Rather than schedule out everything out everyday to give me a routine, just be happy that something was good about what i did today. Don't worry about going back there soon, if it happens it happens.

This is the kind of stuff that i used to go to therapy for.... But that never helped, marijuana is the key. And i am positive that if we could just convince more people to be able to be in the right mood to smoke and not become paranoid about smoking, it would help a lot of people. But its impossible to make marijuana just automatically "natural" in life, and not something to be paranoid about, for a lot of people. Unless it is moved in gradually... Starting with a friend that smokes, and then more friends that smoke, and it always being around, to trying it, to trying it MORE, to buying a bowl, to buying it, to buying a bong or other grand piece of paraphenalia, to buying it all the time, to having it around ALL THE TIME.

I like the end of that long road the best, and that is where i am now. Just the beginning of having it around all the time.
And for me, not all of that road was a great one. I was really paranoid in the beginning and the anxiousness in me mixed with it and fucked with my while I smoked.

But goddamn. It was sooo totally fucking worth it.

I've become addicted to intarnet poker.
On Pogo.com.
I've been playing a whole whole lot. Every night for a couple hours. I'm pissed at myself for not getting tired earlier... I wish i wanted to get up earlier than I do. There isn't anything to do early in the day that i want to do.... But then again, i could just flipflop... be up all day like a normal person and just do stuff before work and sleep at night.